My Life?

Yeah, no matter how fucked up my life is,
it's for the best of my family.

I don't mind being the one suffering,
as long as my family don't have to go through,
what I'm going and been through.

Seeing them smile always,
is the greatest achievement for me,
and I'm gonna strive for it.

Cheers.

Glad

that I got over some bitch in my life. I feel so freaking awesome with my life right now HAHA!
Getting good grades, no one to control me, no one that stresses me out, no one that eats my time and money. So long sucker! Hopefully your fat ass butch with his all mouth full can save your materialistic world. Looser.

Anyway, been wondering when am I going to travel like her. She's only 23 and she get to travel across Asia already. Oh well, being with her is somehow an awesome experience. Her bluish green grey eyes.. golden brown hair.. pointy nose.. sweet lips, soft and smooth skin, and of course.. her beautiful and seductive smile. Geez.. I miss the times that we spent together. =(
Unfortunately she had to go back. yeah.. forever alone again I guess? Nah, I still have my crazy friends here. =)

Yeah, I somehow got over with this procrastination shit thingy, but my friends are in this shit which makes me kinda worried. I know I'm not good in exams, that is why I strive to kill these assignments with good grades and exams I don't really have to worry. What I can say about exams is that, it doesn't show how experienced and knowledgeable a person. Some empty headed people that can memorize everything from a book just to pass that fucking exam, scored good grades, and when you ask them after some time later on, it's empty. So what's the point? I somehow feel ashamed if I get good grades, then people ask me for some opinion and answers but all I can give is "I don't know" or "no idea" or answers that doesn't make sense in order to make yourself "MR. KNOW IT ALL".

So having the title AR. doesn't mean you're a professional and an all knowing person. It only gives you the recognition and authority to certify projects. Imagine if I am an AR. and people asks me this and that but I can't give a shit. I don't feel offended but, I feel disappointed with myself, but of course, I will find the answers later on to improve myself. Why would anyone make the same mistake twice.

Holding up to that kind of standard of good grades result or titles should at least know more or specialize about it. Not just some dupe cakes who takes the exam and passes it and that's all. Mr Know Nothing in the end. I am talking according to my experience and perceptions.

Things that I've wanted to express out for so long.. a lot more. But I need to keep track of my time and do things timely. That's for now. Cheers.

I miss you..

sooo much..
there's never a day..
I can't stop thinking of you..
until now.. and so.. =,(

I know myself..
I will never forget you..
no matter how long it takes..
or even if I have a family in the future..
that it may not be you..

I'm not going to do anything..
I won't be fixing things..
Me being ripped by you and me fixing things?
No.

Not ego, but.. Just wanted to know..
Just wanted to make sure..
Who am I to you..
What do you still have for me..

<|3

my dum dum, my princess, my hunny bunny, my cutie pie, my everything is gone..
It's not that I need you, it's I want you..
I want you back so badly.. =,(

what's left of me is shattered pieces..
where I do not know..

will it be mended..
or never..

everything that happened..
is just like a dream..
how I wished it was..

another day passes by...

Another day..

Hmm.. Have been doing kinda lonely lately.. Not because of friends or family not around..
Just.. that, I miss someone's presence.. Well yeah, that's what I'm feeling right now.. Oh well.

Just another day passes by..

I felt like.. Hmm.. Wondering..

Secondhand Serenade - Why



The buttons on my phone are worn thin
I don't think that I knew the chaos I was getting in.
But I've broken all my promises to you
I've broken all my promises to you.

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?

A phrasing that's a single tear,
Is harder than I ever feared
And you were left feeling so alone.
Because these days aren't easy
Like they have been once before
These days aren't easy anymore.

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?
To me, to me, to me.

I should have known this wasn't real
And fought it off and fought to feel
What matters most? Everything
That you feel while listening to every word that I sing.
I promise you I will bring you home
I will bring you home.

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?
To me, to me, to me.

i wish i never knew what love was...

i wish it remained a fairytale...

i wish it had never found me...

i wish to never feel it again...

i wish to go back in time and undo everything...

i wish i could go back and never meet you...

i wish i could go back and have never known your existence...

i wish i could lose this pain...

i wish its gone...

yeah...

I'm..

the 6th boyfriend with 6 letters.. KELVIN.
Haha...........................

Seriously I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me these few days...

It's sad..

to know.. the places that we used to be, and used to do..
but that someone is being with someone..
imagination and thought kills. indirectly.
I don't know..
WHY THE FUCK I CAN'T GET OVER YOU!
WHY CAN'T I JUST FUCKING LET THINGS GO!
WHY THE FUCK DO I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT PROMISES MADE!
WHY DO I HAVE TO SUFFER LIKE THIS!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.. =,(

They said,
I don't know why you still can't get over her. Maybe you're too serious. That makes you loyal.
It's because your love is pure and sincere.
It's because you're way too mature and serious in relationships. You're the type that will keep on holding on no matter how hard it is, unless, something you really hate the most happens? Gotcha.
It's because you treat her as if she's everything to you. You're a beta right? Yeah!
It's because the length that you have gone through, isn't easy, but made it out alive. But someone gives up. That's why you're like this.
It's because the promises that you have made to her, you will really want to make it up to it, you have planned everything, and suddenly shit happens, you want things to get in line, but can't. You are frust, sad, disappointed right?

Well.. I take things seriously I do admit. Because I believe in one, those who have made it for 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, 40 years.. And still holding hands eventhough their hair gone white..
It's not childish, different people different perspective.
Those who can't even handle pressure, gives up so easily, break promises, lies, curses people with foul words, only knows how to say with a big mouth.
Are the ones who are childish.

Another tiring day..
Expressing in anger and sorrow..