Expressiveness kills?

I'm just expressing, so who cares. I don't know how it feels cause I'm always the victim. Am tired of always keeping it, trying to cool myself down, and swallow it, hoping it will go through my bladder and flush it away. Unfortunately, it got digested into my body.. and never came out. There goes.. It stays in me like my body. Permanent scars.

Lesson learned, never do "everything" for someone you love so much. Cause in the end, the one hurts the most is you yourself when the result of hoping for the good.

Now, I had to suffer time without being together someone I love so much.
Got frustrated when she excels in work, and not me, where I restrict myself.
Attention all goes to her, not me, where I always have to.

I should have kept my limits. Not wanting more or giving more, but leave things as they should. Fuck life. I hate life. All I want turns out to be fucking opposite, from head to toe. I FUCKING HATE LIFE! I REALLY FUCKING HOPE I DROP DEAD WITHIN LESS THAN A SECOND.
If only I could control myself totally, I wouldn't have fallen into this shit. Thank you so much God made us so brilliant.

Yeah.. Just forget it.